


She is Bright

by marvcltrash



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Character Study, F/M, It's kind of sad?, it's mostly inside chat's head and then some marichat, this is kind of a character study?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-27
Updated: 2016-07-27
Packaged: 2018-07-27 01:14:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7597657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/marvcltrash/pseuds/marvcltrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She deserves better. She always deserves so much better.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She is Bright

**Author's Note:**

> This was literally just a quick thing I did and idek what this is tbh.

Chat Noir breathes deep with the city below him, a sense of freedom hanging out beneath his tail that he still wonders after the feeling of. Why does he feel his tail, his ears? He shouldn't have feeling there. So why does he feel them? Why does he see without light? Why does he dream of kittenhood and living for weeks, years, without sight? Why does he have more Chat Noir memories than clear memories of his mother? Why is he more Chat Noir than Adrien Agreste? 

He walks, tightrope, across the edges of buildings to taste the fall beneath his feet. It is the kind of distracting he longs for when he is Adrien, as if he is ever  _ truly _ Adrien anymore. He feels most like Adrien when he is with his Lady, false bravado breaking for Her sharp wit and clever words. Adrien was a picture of typical, rich boy weakness that Chat Noir attempted to cut through with a knife, ignoring all of his own obvious insecurities by destroying himself, building something new out of ash and dust. Or, he tried to. God, how he tried. 

Paris needs a Chat Noir who can breathe fire, a Chat Noir who can move mountains, a Chat Noir who believes in himself, a Chat Noir who can find himself without using Ladybug as a focal point, as a focus. He thinks of himself in direct correlation to Her, finds what She would need at that moment, and he  _ tries.  _ He burns again with the need to be important, and Chat Noir is reminded exactly how potent Adrien Agreste still is, beneath his skin. He shoves it deeper and heaves himself across the rooftops, leaping and grabbing in lieu of using his baton, aching to grow stronger without it. His Lady never depends on anything, barely even him, and he should be of the same caliber, or he just shouldn’t come. Chat Noir should not be a burden. He won’t be Adrien. 

Adrien is an airhead who never does anything but what he is told. Chat Noir is a creeping feline who never knows who he truly is, which truly says something about the consideration of the quality of Adrien Agreste, that Chat Noir is the better alternative. Adrien has  _ feelings  _ that he actually  _ speaks about,  _ feelings that Chat Noir would like to think he cannot relate to. Chat Noir has no absent father or missing mother. Chat Noir has no false friends, Chat Noir doesn’t have only two true friends, Chat Noir doesn’t have a million vapid fan girls. Well, perhaps the last isn’t entirely true, with the growing popularity of himself and his Lady. 

He wonders, vaguely, if his Lady has such worries about Her out of costume persona,  _ Her real life _ , but somehow he doubts it. No one is so sure as Her Ladyship, even if sometime it seemed like She should falter. It seemed like She should falter so much more, but She was never weak in front of him. She did not trust him to be strong. Everything is bright in the darkness, Chat Noir’s eyes, and sometimes he feels as if this is Ladybug, in the sea of Paris. Chat Noir is just another pitch point, just another spot of darkness, bad luck, but She is bright. She is bright. 

There is a creeping, crawling anxiety as he creeps ever closer to another Her’s roof, as though thinking of Her and thinking of his Lady at the same time was some kind of sin. She was his Princess, and though his Lady was perfect, She was another kind entirely. She was a normal girl, and She still treated him as if he wasn’t any kind of special, as if he was normal. He had never felt normal in his entire life, as Adrien was put on a pedestal, kept out of school, and then Adrien was the new kid, and now Adrien wasn’t even Adrien anymore. There was no Adrien anymore. The is no Adrien anymore. 

She is still awake. She sits on Her roof and stares at the sky, Her hands splayed over the concrete that makes Her floor with a pillow beneath Her. There is a stillness in the air before Her face turns, Her head tilts, and She looks at him and then  _ through _ him. “I know you’re there,” Her voice carries over on the wind and he is astounded by Her again, excellent in every endeavor. He knows Adrien is Her schoolmate, but there is no connection between the nervous Marinette who knows Adrien and the beautiful, sure being who keeps Chat Noir at arm’s length. 

He still does not say a word, and She seems to recognise the broken pieces hanging out of him, the ones even he does not acknowledge. “You can stay a while, if you’d like,” She says, before pulling Her pillow out from under Her and laying back, the pillow beneath Her head. Chat Noir still does not say anything as he climbs down to sit beside Her, calmly and silently, quite unlike the Chat Noir he was sure She was used to. “Come here,” She says, pulling him gently for his head to lay on Her stomach, and Chat Noir is overtaken with a kind of grateful he cannot speak. So, he doesn’t, he doesn’t say a single word. 

They lay there until he is sure he can stay no longer without his Miraculous wearing off sometime in the next twenty or so minutes. “Thank you, Princess,” he says, finally, to a sleeping Marinette before kissing Her cheek lightly. “Any time, Chat Noir,” She replies, perhaps not as asleep as he thought. He runs and leaps before the Wanting  _ ( ~~stay, stay, stay, don’t be the one who makes you leave, let Her make you leave, stay, stay, stay~~ ) _ can overtake him again, letting the roof tiling beneath his boots settle the rapping beating of his heart. “Thank you, Princess,” he whispers to the night, and when he arrives at Adrien Agreste’s home again, he can settle back into a rich boy’s skin. 

Even if he couldn’t see his Lady whenever he wanted, his Princess was sunshine on a cloudy day. Like his Lady, She was bright. He could be Adrien again, if only for the day, if he knew She was safe. She seems to like Adrien, She is one of the two people he counts as Adrien’s true friends. He should think of Alya as a friend, but he knows she is only there for Nino and Marinette. He knows that there are only two people in the world that think of Adrien and think positive things, every time. If even. 

He knows that there are only two people that truly love him, Adrien or Chat Noir. Nino Lahiffe and Marinette Dupain-Cheng. And neither of them will ever by his Lady. His Princess was pure, his Princess needed protection. He could convince himself he was there to protect Marinette. Even if it always seemed as if She was protecting him. She protects him even from himself. She deserves better. She always deserves so much better. 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave me some comments and kudos below? Maybe tell me what this is?


End file.
